Perseverance

You know, one of my favorite saints is St. Monica. I have the habit of entrusting those people who I think need the most prayer to her. It's not that they're hopeless cases - otherwise, I'd choose St. Jude - but they try my patience. I really want the Lord to hear my prayer for them now, and I want their lives to get better, or their faith to grow, now.

But this isn't good. I mean, God hears my prayers. And He will answer them, just as a father gives his child fish when asked, and not a snake (cf. Lk 11:11-13). It may not be as I want, but it will be on His time.

But I'm so impatient. So I ask St. Monica to pray for these intentions, and for me. St. Monica was the mother of the great theologian, bishop, saint, and Doctor of the Church, St. Augustine. This is amazing enough, but even better (cf. St. Augustine's Confessions) is how St. Augustine was converted. He was a wayward child, to put it lightly, and his mother mourned and prayed for him for years before he converted. It is said that she prayed this long, and then got discouraged. An angel appeared to her, telling her to be patient and keep praying. So after praying again for years, her son was indeed converted to the True Faith, and she was able, prior to her death, to spend an entire night talking with her son about heavenly things. This is what is depicted in the picture for this blog. I imagine that they are both longing for heaven with great intensity, just as we ought to.

A little boy, who was canonized after his death at age 15, was a follower of St. John Bosco. He came to Don Bosco and said, 'Don Bosco, help me to become a saint now - I don't know how long I have to live.' There was nothing wrong with the little boy of 13 that would indicate an immanent death, and yet his eagerness for holiness and perseverance ensured that he was in heaven upon his death two years later.

So there is something proper to being eager, to longing with such great intensity. But this is different from impatience. A tree is known by its fruit (Lk 6:44); think about it. Impatience brings out in me a whiny little child who wants what she wants even though she cannot seem to get it; eagerness and longing for God bring peace and the will to persevere.

So my impatience in prayer is actually something bad; rather, I should, with St. Monica, cry and pray so intensely and eagerly that my dress is worn through at the knees, as hers all were. Then perhaps the Lord would hear my prayer and reassure me with an angel. There's only one way to find out...perseverance.